Should I send my kids to school in the fall?

Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would be in the predicament we are in. Making a decision that could make or break our kids is hard, its really hard. A decision that none of us ever expected to be making, one that weighs on me heavily for various reasons. Should I send my kids to school in the fall? Wow, just crazy to think we are asking ourselves this.

Just a year ago, we were in the throws of a major move. After the school year had ended we made a relatively quick decisions to sell our home and move to the district next to us. There were a few reasons but the biggest factor was the progress our kids were making in their current school. I had been working tirelessly for 4 years to get them the help they needed, what they deserved. I was unsuccessful. We used resources outside of the school system to to help us navigate, ultimately we were gutted to learn an entire academic year proved to be a waste of time for my children. The decision was to either move into a new district, to go to private school which we knew wouldn’t work given their needs, or to home school.

So we moved. We listed our house one day, sold it four days later and had to be out 30 days after the offer was placed. A vacation and three weeks later, we had everything loaded up on the trucks to move. After few hiccups we finally moved in two weeks before school started. Needless to say, last summer was busy but we made it.

So here we are a year later, having the school conversations again. This time for a much different reason. A reason out of any of our controls, and honestly a reason that could drastically changed the course of our lives, our kids lives. As a parent of children, 10 and 8, who are in their prime learning years the choices of others are drastically impacting their potential. The more people are out socializing, the more positive cases, which impacts how schools can decide the fate of education for next year. Missing in person school for potentially 18 months is scary as a parent. We are weighing missing school with risking your child’s health, your health, or even grandparents health. We are trying to decide what is best mental health or sickness. I am asking myself every day if I should send my kids to school in the fall.

In our state, MN, the Governor has made the decision to allow school districts to decide how school will be for the next academic year within parameters provided by our state leaders in the Department of Health and Department of Education. While some districts have already announced their intention our district had not yet. There are a few different options that we are looking at

1. All students in-person learning
2. Elementary students in person learning, Secondary students hybrid learning
3. All student Hybrid learning
4. Elementary students hybrid learnings, Secondary students distance learning
5. All students distance learning

Based on the initial high level guidance, our district would fall into scenario 3 above. Districts can then work with state leaders to adjust metrics if need be. In addition, school districts must also provide a distance learning options for all students. Parents will have the choice of either distance learning or the decision the school makes. The decision the school makes will be fluid and could change based on cases in the area. This could potentially change multiple times during the year.

As much as I want my children back in school full time there is so much to think about. What does a hybrid day look like? How will distance learning work? What will happen if COVID is in the school? Can we handle the unknown of where education will take place? Can I count on other parents to take this as seriously as I am?

The first go at distance learning was rough. It was hard on me, our kids, our teachers, and our support staff. I have yet to talk to someone who thought it went great. We all ended up making it through, we did survive. The challenges have brought many emotions from the best of us. I have had feelings of failure, helplessness, frustration, anger, I have cried with my kids, yelled at them, but most of all I am grateful.

I’m grateful that we don’t know anyone who has been diagnosed with COVID 19, grateful that our district did their best, grateful the teachers didn’t give up, grateful that kids are nimble and for the most part adjust pretty gracefully when thrown a curve ball, and grateful that I am able to help my kids. I am also grateful that our district structured summer learning very differently than distance learning in the spring. I absolutely did NOT want to sign up for more distance learning but I knew my kids needed it. It just proves that with more time to plan things can get better.

So how does one decide what is best for their family. I feel like doing summer learning via distance learning has maybe helped me look at distance learning with a different lens. To me this isn’t about reducing screen time, I am a firm believer that not all screen time is bad. Kids could be on the screens a lot at school as well. We just know don’t how all of this will impact how teachers teach, how kids turn in assignments or even take a math test. There has to be a plan for limited touching during the course of a day.

I am also thinking about sickness, not just COVID but other sicknesses. Will a runny nose and cough force your kids to be out of school for potentially two weeks? How long will it take for COVID testing to be back? Will a negative test be enough for kids to go back to school or will they need a doctors note as well, which means now you have to work with your doctor to get that note. What happens when their teacher is sick, who is the substitute? How long will they have a substitute? How about a sibling? Will all siblings need to be out when only one is sick?

How will the day look for kids in school? Can they play with their friends? How will they be able to work with their support teachers? Will they be able to move about the school day like they used to? Will they eat lunch at their desk? What if they need help, will a teacher be able to write on their paper to show them how to do a math problem? Will they be working on paper or on the ipad/device just as they would at home? Who will be teaching them on the days they aren’t in school if doing the hybrid method?

How does my 8 year old who gets multiple nose bleeds a day in the fall (hello allergies) deal with wearing a mask all day. It’s inevitable that mask will come off to deal with the blood and also quite possible he will need multiple masks a day. That same child has asthma, how will being in a mask that many hours be for him. He does fine for the hour or two he wears it currently but 6/7 hours is a lot longer than 2. How will his speech sessions go if masks need to be worn by him and his speech therapist?

So many questions, no real answer yet. I am trying stay optimistic but its getting harder and harder. I know the schools are doing their best, I applaud them for that. Its not going to matter what they decide, not everyone will be happy. There is just no possible way to make this fit everybody’s schedule. We are all so ingrained into what we have know for years. School in session from September to June, roughly. Kids turn 5 and they go to school full time roughly 7 hours a day. Your work schedule is set to work around those parameters not some unknown parameters. Change is hard, and this change is extremely tough.

With every challenge thrown our way there are usually a positives that comes out of it. While things are foggy, and we don’t see the “end in sight”, I am starting to see some positives, little by little. With summer learning my boys have been able to navigate Zoom better than I would have thought. Skills they would need in their life have been taught to them at a much younger age. Their self confidence to be on video calls has improved immensely. I am so proud of how interactive they have both become. When we first started, neither one of them wanted their camera on and now they love being able to see their classmates everyday.

Their ability to follow a calendar and the reminders that pop up. For summer learning I created calendar events for each meeting (my youngest saw two different teachers) with the zoom link in them. He now knows exactly when he needs to go to which meeting and can do it by himself. This was not something he could do during spring distance learning. My oldest has learned how to share his screen with his classmates and be a leader within a small group while on Zoom, both great things. Building a relationship with a teacher and classmates they have never met, is a great skill to have too.

So should you send your kids to school in the fall? That is the million dollar question every parent is trying to decide on. Every family will have different priorities and look at all of this differently. One might prioritize socialization, while someone else prioritizes consistancy. I hope decisions are respected regardless of what they are. Whether its your decisions, the schools, a friends, or a stranger, this isn’t easy for any of us. We all need to take a breathe and just do our best. Not everyone will be happy, not everyone can make these decisions easily. At the end of the day, regardless of what decision you make, stand behind it, be proud, own it, and run with it.

—Bri